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Changing Attachment into Balance through Generosity

From Tibetan Buddhist Encyclopedia
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We are sitting at the supper table with a plate in front of us and our fork full of food. What is the next thing that we need to do in order to get the nourishment of our food? We need to open our mouths to put the food into it. In the same way, in order to be nourished and supported by the world, and to really take our place within it, we need to open to it.

In the Sutra teachings of the gradual path, this is done by contemplating the lack of a permanent, fixed self. Recognizing that our true self is fluid and relative makes us more open and more aware of our interdependence. This makes us more grateful, which, in turn, prompts us to be generous and open to others.

From the Tantric point of view, which is part of the quick path, and related to the teachings on the 5 wisdoms, we talk about surrender and devotion. In the past, this was done by first surrendering and being devoted to one's guru.

Because it has been misunderstood and misused in the past, and because we live in a very individualistic society, people tend to avoid this approach. I tend to try to work as a spiritual guide and direct people to the ultimate refuge right away. The ultimate guru is the whole of reality and, by recognizing the wisdom within all sentient beings, all sentient beings are constantly acting as guru.

In this context, surrender means surrendering to the present reality and a willingness to work with things exactly as they are. Devotion means taking this present moment onto the spiritual path, converting everything we experience into a vehicle for spiritual development. This is the actual beginning of the practice of Generosity in relation to the 5 wisdom families.

So it begins with openness, with opening to the situation right in front of us. Unfortunately, we have been brought up in a society that promotes strength, competition and deceit (as seen in misleading advertising) and keeping our vulnerabilities to ourselves. We are taught and shown that it is more important to display an image to others that will trick them into giving us what we want rather than to display our real selves. This means that we can't always be completely open or as open as we'd like to be or should be. However, I think it's important to start from the perspective of wanting to be open first and then staying closed only out of necessity or inability. In modern western societies, we seem to be encouraged to act the other way around.

Just like with eating, it is really only by being open to the present situation that we can gain the nourishment and support that comes from the world around us. Ironically as we become more open, we also end up stronger and more confident. The reason is that we end up with the backing of the present circumstances in achieving what we want. Our position is not based on a fantasy, or on how we think things work. When we surrender to the present circumstances, and then see and understand the present as it really is, then our position is based the real situation. This makes our actions more accurate, more appropriate, and therefore more effective.

In opening to the present circumstances, that automatically means including other sentient beings. It also means opening to all aspects of other sentient beings which includes their level of awareness, their values, goals, perceptions, feelings and forms. This isn't necessarily that easy to do. This is where courage, patience and practice come into play. By recognizing that we have BuddhaNature and therefore we inherently possess all the wisdoms, as well as the neuroses of the 5 Families, then we can feel more relaxed in living and staying in the present. It is important to remember that we are involved in a continual process of opening and surrendering to the dictates of the situation in front of us.

We may think that surrendering to the dictates of the situation is like giving up our free will. We need to be clear about what is dictating our thought, speech, and action in these circumstances. This is one area where it is easy to get mislead. What dictates our course of action is our own intentions. If we wish to express our BuddhaNature; if we wish to spread peace and joy in the world; if we wish to alleviate suffering, master reality, and help others, then there are usually only a certain set of actions that will satisfy these goals within the present circumstances. It is because of our recognition of what is required of the present situation in order to accomplish our goals, that we talk of surrender.

Because of surrendering to the present situation, we notice how vulnerable we really are. From that, it is very easy to see that, often, the reason we survive that vulnerability is due to the grace and help of others. From that recognition comes a feeling of gratitude.

At the same time, we also see how vulnerable others are. The difference is, having opened to our own vulnerability and the kindness of others in supporting us within that vulnerability, we are less likely to use the vulnerability of others to our own advantage at their expense. We will notice a sense of Balance. If we take advantage of another's vulnerability, it opens the door for others to take advantage of our own vulnerability. We recognize that we're all carrying around a precious crystal vase (our lives and wealth) and that we need to co-operate in order for all of us to keep our vases safe and usable. We recognize that others will be inclined to protect our vases if we help them protect theirs. Because everyone's vases can break at any time, we are all careful to work together to make sure we all have everything that we need.

The result of this degree of openness and surrender is that we resign ourselves to the role of being a part of the balance of reality. When we see support that needs to be offered, we offer it without hesitation. We also express our status and position plainly and without embellishment or deceit.

The practice of Generosity is therefore the middle point in the play between our sense of personal abundance of qualities and possessions, and our sense of poverty, miserliness and attachment. In this practice, we are constantly working out where and what we feel we can share or give and what we feel that we need to hold on to or what we are miserly about. It is through this exchange that we learn about our own attachments, limitations and attainments. This means that our gifts really belong to us. They are mostly a reflection of our own understanding and mind-state.

Our wealth and qualities are like being a skilled tennis player. We only maintain our skill and increase it through use. If we wish to maintain and increase our wealth and qualities then we need to use them and share them with the outside world. This is how the practice of Generosity unfolds. As we open up and share our wealth and abilities with the world, we gain a greater sense of strength, support, and confidence, which prompts us to open up even more.

The next stage is to combine surrender with devotion. This means devoting ourselves and our present circumstances to spiritual development. It means devoting our energy to transforming longing into contentment, transforming attachment into renunciation, changing fear into loving-kindness, eliminating anger through patience, converting doubt into confidence and changing confusion into understanding regardless of what form we find them in.

This Generosity is the beginning of the recognition that the elimination of our own sufferings and the attainment of our own Buddhahood is directly linked to our concern for the elimination of others sufferings and their work towards their own Buddhahood as well.

Giving causes benefits for ourselves and others whereas those things that we hold on to cause suffering, anxiety, and fear for us as we worry about their loss or potential loss. They become a preoccupation in our minds which reinforces our miserliness and reinforces our inattention to outside circumstances and other beings.

The difficulties that we encounter and the mistakes that we make while attempting to practice Generosity, become teachings about our own understanding of interdependence and how it works. Our notions of what Generosity is, what others need, and how well we are perceiving the workings of reality are all confirmed or corrected for us, by the results of our actions. For example, if we try to save any beings life, and they die anyways, then there is a lesson there about our skill, our limitations, and the strength of karmic forces.

One thing that we can't do is allow these difficulties and mistakes to stop us from continuing to practice Generosity, openness, surrender, and devotion. If we stop doing anything for others' benefit, then everyone loses, because nothing is done and therefore nothing improves. Instead, we need to look for the lesson or lessons from our experience and learn from them and then resolve to try to do better in the future.

The more we practice this opening, surrender, devotion, and generosity, the more that we realize that the stability, balance, nourishment and support that we so desperately seek is the direct result of this openness. We recognize that, by trying to accomplish this stability and support through being attached and miserly about our wealth and qualities, we have actually been keeping ourselves from the REAL stability and support that's available to us.

It is the difficulty that we have with many things. We feel that we can't be impermanent and eternal at the same time. We feel that we can't be one and unique at the same time. We also tend to feel that we can't be giving and receive at the same time. All of these feelings are untrue.

If we give up our fear and allow ourselves to open to, and to work with, the natural process of reality, we can have impermanence and eternity at the same time; we can have oneness and uniqueness together, and we can receive strength, stability, and support through the process of giving.

Source

peacefulgarden.ca